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Saturday, January 26, 2013

~Scent Marking~

During our twenty years of relationship, Martin and I have spent many weeks apart.  In the beginning, I worked at the boys camp, eight days on, four days back at the stables.  After marriage and children, he has worked at places that kept him overnight for days or weeks at a time. 

This time was six weeks--which is the longest run ever--and I was overjoyed at the prospect of seeing his handsome face and sniffing up that delicious clean man smell.  I wanted him to arrive at home and think it was the nicest cleanest place on earth filled with the most gorgeous (and intelligent and funny) wife in the world, and the most adorable children. 

As such, I began the preparations about a week in advance.  The cleaning was standard, where I went overboard was in the personal beautification.  I wanted to wash my gray roots out, instead my hair got turned purple.  Knowing that this would be a shock (and probably not a pleasant one) I decided to distract him from my hair with a new coat and a new pair of boots (Gray--ironic since I began the spending spree in an effort to cover gray.)

I was the toe twitching, lip stick applying, hair a-fluffin-pants a stuffin and fancy underwear sporting lady at the airport the day He arrived, and my first sight of him did swell my heart with love and adoration--I had forgotten he was so big and that his eyes were twinkly green.  I tried to keep myself dignified when I threw my arms around his neck, but sometimes the joy bubbles out and you just have to let it run it's course.

Which it did in about 30 minutes, the first time he mentioned, "WOW, when you said your hair was purple, you were telling the truth!"  As we waited for his luggage he mentioned the circus being in town and I told him that I was thinking about getting a nose ring and a bass guitar so I could join a Punk Rock Band--

It was in the first 30 minutes of him arriving that I realized he was sight marking me, and the radiant new hair color and sporty jacket were enough different that I was looking unfamiliar.  While he was telling me that I looked different, I was noticing that he wasn't smelling like the scent I had been dreaming of the night before.

In the first 30 minutes, my joy morphed into  a desire to scent mark him.  It began when I hugged him and realize that he didn't smell at all like home, instead he smelled vaguely of diesel fuel and out-of-state water and off brand laundry detergent. 

As soon as I got him home  I batted my eyes and suggest that I run him a nice hot jet bath, and he complied because who wouldn't comply to a sexy woman asking if she could draw you a bath?  I filled the tub and helped him out of his clothes (which went immediately into the washing machine) and then I brought him a beer and dumped bath salt into his water.  I grabbed him clothes out of the closet and unpacked the deodorant and toothbrush and I handed him a towel fresh and fluffy from the dryer.

In the Five Days that he was home, I remember all of the things that I love about having him home and I remember all of the things that are easier when he is gone.  In those five days I give up the remote control begrudgingly, but give up waking up in the middle of the night to fix something gloriously. 

I am thinking that after twenty years, it ain't bad that we spend time away from each other.  It DOES make the time together better, it is easier to deal with the little annoyances when I know that they will only be around for a limited time.

Thursday, January 10, 2013

~Is That a Gun In Your Pocket, Or Are You Happy To See Me?~

The Gun Debate seems as easy to solve as to ask the people:
Will you sacrifice your guns?  No?  Okay.  Good enough.  Keep it. 
The second amendment guarantees you that right, it was good enough for my forefather, and it is good enough for me.
I personally don’t care if you want to keep your gun because you are a hunter, or because you shoot targets, or you have them for home protection. I can understand the argument that we need to be armed to keep our Government honest—I know that history repeats itself and various Governments’ have used the tricks of rounding up all of the weapons from the people, before the armies could march through and slaughter some of them.
 Maybe you have a gun for Zombies…okay…I think you watch too much TV if you really believe zombies are coming, but if that is the case—remember to aim for the brain stem. 
I grew up in Idaho amongst hunters.  By the time I was twelve, I could shoot an army guy off a stump at twenty paces with a .22 pistol.  Literally every single adult person that I knew had a gun—shotguns, rifles, pistols.  Every single kid that I knew had a bee-bee gun, getting a bee-bee gun is almost a rite of passage, for both boys and girls.  Everyone, from my grandpa to my baby sister had access to a firearm, and every one of us knows how to use them.
I have seen my fair share of fancy little single shooters pistols—I once trolled a gun show when I was looking for a boyfriend and I was too young to get into the bar. The things is, these gun owners that I know—some of which might be driving a truck that has been sporting a gun rack since 1975—
We aren’t going to give away all of our guns.  Sure, we might sacrifice some of them, but odds are damn good we have one hid somewhere so good that even we couldn’t find it. We have guns that have been passed down from our great grandfathers, and guns that use musket balls and gun powder and ting little six pistols that only shoot one bullet.  They are ours, and we aren’t giving them away.
Will you sacrifice your guns?  Yes?  Okay, Good for you! 
I assume that you are sacrificing them because you believe that a world without guns is a safer world.  I adore that attitude.  I think there should be a world full of people with just that attitude; I applaud you and your willingness to sacrifice for an ideal.  History repeats itself—Gandhi did alright for himself with the peaceful resistance. 
I recognize that you have an opinion on guns, and your opinion may be that people shouldn’t have guns.  I support your right to have that opinion.  But history repeats itself, and I think it was Freud that point out you can’t change other people’s behavior, only your own.

Or was that Oprah?  Either way—wherever you stand in the gun debate, you have made a decision and it is unlikely that you are going to change the mind of someone who is the opposite camp.  Maybe we can call a Truce—the gun owners won’t demand that everyone who doesn’t have a gun go buy one and non-gun owners can stop demanding the gun owners give away their guns.
The only thing the gun debate is good for is a subject to talk about at a social gathering when you can’t think of anything else to talk about:  What do you think of the gun ban?” is a great conversation opener and you can ask that question and then sit back and watch the debate.