~Goodbye Baby~

Many years ago I was a first time mother with an infant child who cooed herself to sleep. Every evening I would put her in her crib and then her father and I would listen to the delicious dove coo's that came from her room until she had fallen asleep.

"We should record the sound of Katie putting herself to sleep" I said to my husband countless nights.

"Yeah, we should." He would reply.

But we never did, because we were brand new parents and we thought there would always be another chance to catch the sound.

Now it is twelve years later and I have sent my youngest child to Kindergarten. It is his first experience riding the bus, and he was over-joyed with the idea.

On his first day I walked him to the bus so that I could meet the driver. I kissed him goodbye at the stairs and stood by the side of the road waving til the bus disappeared from my view. The months went on, I stopped walking him to the stairs and sending him with a kiss.

Instead, I stood in the doorway and waved to him as he ran to the bus. Everyday for the last four months I have stood in the door waving to my son and blowing him kisses.

The Ikeman waves back. He blows me kisses and jumps into the air to catch the kisses that I blow to him. He shapes his fingers into a gun, then kisses his thumb and says, "pshew!" as he shoots the kisses at me. I clutch my heart, then make a gun with my fingers, kiss my thumb and shoot a kiss back.

"I need to record the goodbye on video, because he won't do this forever" I have thought many times this year.

Yesterday I got out the camera and taped the long goodbye. I recorded the my tiny boy getting on the bus, but taking time to blow his mother kisses before he left my view.

Today my little boy said, "Mom, I can't wave at you outside anymore, I have to wait until I get on the bus."

Apparently the few seconds that he takes to shoot kisses at his mother are a transportation problem. Maybe it is the couple seconds it takes for him to jump into the air to catch the kisses I have blown at him. Those seconds probably create a time constraint.

As of today, my son no longer pauses to blow me kisses, instead he gets on the bus and (I assume) waves and blows kisses to me from behind windows that are tinted just enough that the students inside can't be seen.

But that's okay.

Twelve years ago I didn't tape my daughters cooing voice because I thought it would last forever. Yesterday I taped my son's big goodbye because I am aware that my little boy will eventually stop blowing me kisses before he gets on the bus.

I am glad that I taped the final kiss blowing event so that someday he can watch it and see what he cute kid he was. I didn't tape it because I was afraid I would forget. I am sure that twelve years from now his goodbye kisses will be as memorable to me as the sound of my infant daughter cooing herself to sleep.